Is it over now...

Today I feel that I don't "want" my lover anymore, but I love him so much that he is the only reason for my existence, Im sorry Mom and Dad but this is the truth, since no one cares for me more than him, he made me feel love and secure, his arms became the craddle of my loneliness, his shoulders the resting place of my tears... as I said before I could never love anyone as much as I love you and Im still saying it up till now... I love you... but even though I love you this much, why do I feel that I'm resenting you and there is this heavy weight upon my heart, like a gate that is holding back all these emotions, is it because I put you above everything else, is it because things and love that I should have given to myself was directed towards you, I sacrifice a lot in order to love you, Its not your fault its mine.

I love you over all, I miss everything about you and yet I feel that I don't miss you, I like my situation right now, I love the "single" feeling after all these years I feel free from you, but I don't wanna be free I don't wanna feel like that... I wanna feel that I need you, I wanna feel the sincerity of my love... or am I too afraid to let go of all of those years?

Your not the perfect little angel that everyone thinks of you have look the other way most of the time, you left and neglected me and sometimes I don't feel love (Quite the contradiction to my first lines) I don't feel love because I don't believe that you love me, everytime your other lover leaves you, you always come back to me? And why do I let this happen, am I this low to let you do this to me... And now that you've change, I don't feel the sincerity of you love anymore can you blame me? I cannot make a new start, I can't forgive and forget, especially if I can't forgive myself for being this pathetic...

I love you, I love you, I love you and I love you more....

but I have to love myself... I will weight things out before I go back and if my resolve is strong enough maybe I can set things right for myself, be with you or be with myself.... I love you and I love you....